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MINDFULNESS DURING SEX




1. Focus on your pleasure - Focusing on your partner's pleasure can trigger parts of the brain that have to do more with task management and performance, which ultimately takes away your ability to focus on your own pleasure. This will result in lessened ability to feel sensations and overall decreased satisfaction with the sexual experience.


2. Don't worry about timing- Most people wildly underestimate the amount of time it may take for them or a partner to become aroused, so go slow and enjoy the process. If you're worried that you or your partner isn't getting aroused as fast as you would like, you're going to struggle to feel strong sensations. Trying to rush the experience may lead to intense focus on completion rather than progressively (and more effectively!) increasing arousal.


3. Stop "acting" during sex- Worried about your "O" face or the sounds you're making during sex? If so, focusing on acting will only reinforce bad sex and therefore make you more likely to have to "pretend" to enjoy it rather than actually experiencing organic pleasure. Again, any brain activity that's focused on anxiety is going to take away from your ability to feel and experience pleasure. Think of it like an interlocking switch, the amygdala (or "worry" part of the brain) needs to be turned off for the nucleus accumbens (the "anticipation of pleasure part of the brain) to be turned on.


4. Don't rush to orgasm- The culmination of this post (pun intended) is to SLOW DOWN! Rushing to orgasm, like the other topics above, is going to make you feel like your focus is on the end goal, not the journey there. If you're only trying to get to the O you're less likely to build adequate stimulation that would lead to more enhanced pleasure (and honestly, probably a better orgasm anyways). Like I always say to my clients, they cherry on top is nice but you're there to enjoy the sunday.


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