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Finding Your Intimate Self After Motherhood


Moms, let me know if this sounds familiar.  You wake at the crack of dawn to your children creating some sort of chaos in the house.  You pour yourself a cup of coffee that will remain mostly untouched on a random countertop for the next hour while you race around the house getting everyone dressed and (at least in my case, somewhat) presentable for the day.  You throw your hair in a messy bun, drag on a pair of leggings that you wear most days simply because they’re pants that fit and off to the daycare and school drop off lines you go. If you’re a toddler mom you’re most likely listening to wheels on the bus for the 84th time that morning while you run through the never ending to do list that’s permanently on repeat in your brain like some sort of Mommy NASDAQ ticker tape.


I could go on, but if this sounds familiar, then this article is for you.


The demands of motherhood can leave little time or energy for self-care, let alone nurturing one's sensual side. But reclaiming your sense of intimacy and reconnecting with your sexy self is not only possible but essential for your overall well-being. Helping moms feel confident and supported in their journey creates a ripple effect on their entire family becoming a stronger and happier unit. Here are my tops ways for moms to reclaim their intimate selves after motherhood.

 

Embrace Your Changing Body

One of the first steps in finding your intimate self after motherhood is embracing your changing body. Pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding can bring about significant changes in your physique, and it's normal to feel insecure or self-conscious about these changes. However, remember that your body has accomplished something incredible – it has brought life into this world. So rather than waiting to “loose the weight” to buy new clothes, celebrate your new body. Dress in a way that allows you to feel confident, comfortable, and proud of the woman you’ve become. Remember, if you can buy your kid cute outfits every time you go to TJ Maxx, you can buy yourself a new bra.


Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care is essential for nurturing your intimate self and reigniting your sensual spark. It may seem impossible, but allowing yourself time to practice self care is essential in reclaiming your identity.  Whether it's a relaxing bubble bath, a rejuvenating yoga session, or simply curling up with a good book, prioritize activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Taking care of your needs reduces stress, increases your emotional well-being, and gives you more mental bandwidth to connect with your partner.  Ultimately, when you take care of yourself, you'll feel more confident and empowered to embrace your intimate side.


Rediscover Your Sensuality

Reconnecting with your sensual self is a journey of self-discovery and exploration. Take the time to rediscover what makes you feel sexy and desirable, whether it's wearing lingerie that makes you feel confident, experimenting with new hairstyles or looks, or engaging in activities that awaken your senses. Remember, your body changes after pregnancy and so what feels good may have changed too. Trust your instincts and listen to your body's desires as you embrace your sensuality and reclaim your intimate self.


Communicate With Your Partner

Open and honest communication with your partner is key to rekindling intimacy after motherhood. Share your feelings, desires, and concerns with your partner, and work together to create a supportive and loving environment where you can both explore your sensual connection. If you’re feeling worn down or disconnected, you aren’t going to want to jump in bed! Make time for meaningful conversations, romantic gestures, and intimate moments that strengthen your bond and reignite the passion in your relationship.


Ask For Help

Following the advice to communicate with your partner, knowing when to ask for help is vital to reclaiming your intimate self. Many moms put sex and intimacy at the bottom of their to do list as just another task they need to complete for someone else, feeling completely weighed down by other demands. But reclaiming your intimate self means being intimate because YOU get enjoyment out of it, not just your partner. So ask for what you need- whether it’s more foreplay, more date nights, or just more help in general to free up mental space for reclaiming your connection with intimacy.


Be Intimate Beyond the Bedroom

Intimacy extends beyond physical touch and can be found in the everyday moments shared with your partner and yourself. Small touches throughout the day- a caress, holding hands, even a smile across the room, can awaken your sensual side. Take pleasure in just cuddling with your partner, and sharing heartfelt conversations that deepen your emotional connection. Embrace intimacy in all its forms and cherish the moments of love, warmth, and tenderness that enrich your relationship.

 

 

Becoming a mother requires sacrifice, one that most of us are happy and willing to make. But remember the sacrifice does not mean you need to completely lose yourself to be a good mom.  In fact, the opposite is true. When you feel confident and happy in yourself, your able to show up for your kids, your partner, and yourself in a more fulfilled and joyful way.  Do yourself a favor this Mother’s Day and ditch the guilt, and embrace your needs. You’ve earned it Mama.

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